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Blairsy

Give away closes in hour so be quick

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Posted (edited)

I'm going to give some of my rakeback in this giveaway wont be loads but will be some.. to win you must tell a joke the person with the most reactions will win.. so good luck. Tell us that joke.. THIS IS NOW CLOSED THANK YOU

Edited by Blairsy
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Posted (edited)

At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. «No woman,» said one man, scornfully, «can keep a secret.»

«I don’t know about that,» huffily answered a woman guest. «I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.»

«You’ll let it out some day,» the man insisted.

«I hardly think so!» responded the lady. «When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever.»

Edited by Brazzers2019

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Posted (edited)

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mum: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mom, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.

Edited by Brazzers2019

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“Excuse me, sir, have you seen a police officer around?”
-
“No, not a soul, actually.”
-
“Very good, now give me your wallet, watch and laptop!”

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A duck walks into a shop and asks the manager:
-Got any fresh fruit?
-No.
-Got any fresh vegetables?
-No. We have only dry goods.

The next day the duck returns:
-Got any fresh fruit?
-No.
-Got any fresh vegetables?
-No. I told you yesterday, we have only dry goods. If you come back tomorrow and ask me the same question, I will feed you with nails!
On 3rd day the duck walks in and asks:
-Got any nails?
-No.
-Got any fresh fruit?

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- Hey. Can a judge be called a jerk?
- Do not.
- And call a lord "judge"?
- Yes.
- Thank you, Mr. Judge.

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Posted (edited)

The more we study, the more we know
The more we know, the more we forget
The more we forget, the less we know
the less we know, the less we forget
The less we forget, the more we know
Why study?

 

Edited by Brazzers2019

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"A frog goes to see a fortune teller to find out whether he is lucky in matters of romance or not."

The fortune teller then read the frog's palm and said, "I have good news and bad news. What do you want to hear first? "

The frog wants to hear the good news first.

The astrologer said, "You will meet a beautiful girl. He will be interested in you and wants to know everything about you. He wants you to be open to him and give your heart to him. "

"Wow, that's great!" Said the frog. "But, what's the bad news?"

"You will meet him in biology class."

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Posted (edited)

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, “Lola, pack up your things. I just won the PrimeDice lottery!”
Lola replies, “Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?”

The man responds, “I don’t care. Just so long as you’re out of the house by noon!”

 

Edited by Muskieto

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My neighbour is in the hospital right now after drinking just 1 beer lol
- It was my beer :D 

 

Does anyone know why Ed doesn't has a girlfriend? 😇
- Sheeran away :D 

 

 

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A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these." The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time." Instantly, Little Johnny coughed his onto the floor and shouted, "Quick! Spit'em out! They're assholes!"

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