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mgunita25

My gf is also addicted to gambling

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This is what holding onto my faith looks like to me. I just found out last night that she is gambling again(my girlfriend) . I'm okay, but I just needed to get this out. Please don't respond with negativity. I am in the process of healing as well, and I just thought I'd give writing about it a try. Here goes...


 

"This is when you have to just trust in God." The thought hit me as I am processing what I've just heard. She's gambling again. Right at this very moment. I know that I just have to trust, but.....

 

Thoughts. No fears. Fears swirl though my head. The gravity of what is happening. The possibilities. Everything we've learned about gambling addiction- Some we learned while she was in treatment, and some we learned by seeing. Not just seeing from her, but from her own mother also. My beloved grandmother who lost everything more than once. We've seen enough. Hasn't she seen enough too? What I know is that she will not stop until she has to. But people will still bail her out. Will she ever stop? Will I be one of the people put in a position to tell her no? What will happen when the reality of what she has done hits her? When she realizes what she has spent. What she has lost. Her addiction has evolved. When one or two hundred used to satisfy her, it takes so much more now. She has gambled everyday for the past two weeks. She loses six to eight hundred per day. Gone. Forever. Her hard earned money. She has already filed bankruptcy this year. Now she is spending the last of all that she has. Will she survive the realization when this hits her? This addiction has the highest suicide rtae. The thought sickens me. She mentioned suicide for the first time after getting out of treatment. Treatment. That was less than a year ago. An inpatient stay lasting over 30 days. She felt it was one of the hardest things she had ever been through. Hard or not, they taught her what is required. Meetings would be a part of her life forever. Counseling. The twelve steps. Her sponsor. Self care. They made it crystal clear that these tools will now need to be permanent fixtures in her life. Did she not believe them. Did she really think she could do it without the tools? Did she believe in miraculous healing? If she took the time she spends ruminating on all the things she is pissed off about- if she just used that time to the tasks she was assigned at treatment.  Would she be gambling right at this very moment? Help is available.

 

Trust in God. It's the only thing I can do. I can't control her addiction. I can't control how others will respond to her. I can't make them allow her to hit rock bottom. I can't control where her rock bottom is, although I pray it is not much further down than this. I also can't control her response. I just have to trust God. And one thing I've learned, trusting Him does not even mean that He will heal her of this addiction. It does not mean that she will not fall again. And unfortunately, it does even mean that some of my darker fears are guaranteed not to happen. What it means, is that I can rest in the knowledge that no matter what the outcome is, on ething remains. He is still God. He is still here. I am not alone in this. He is God when things are good, and He is still God when things are bad. Right now, trusting in Him is all that I can do. 

Edited by mgunita25

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I think you should try to make her forget this addiction by some other occupations , like taking her out , watching movies , taking care of her as much as you can that will help her a lot and maybe step bu step she will be less addicted.   

Avoid to force her to quit gambling , in general that will lead to the opposite result so she will dive more into this addiction.   

I hope my advices will help even if i'm not the perfect person to give advices :p

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3 hours ago, MrNice23 said:

Avoid to force her to quit gambling , in general that will lead to the opposite result so she will dive more into this addiction.   

To me this is the best course of action.  In general the harder you try to force something one way, it usually has the opposite effect.  There is definitely help out there, but in most cases the person has to be willing to try to get help or it will not work in the end.

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Stop giving your girlfriend the money and it will stop. Or just give her the freedom to play after she loses a lot of money. She herself will say stop. If a person is addicted, then we will not be able to do anything until he himself makes a decision.

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10 hours ago, mgunita25 said:

This is what holding onto my faith looks like to me. I just found out last night that she is gambling again(my girlfriend) . I'm okay, but I just needed to get this out. Please don't respond with negativity. I am in the process of healing as well, and I just thought I'd give writing about it a try. Here goes...


 

"This is when you have to just trust in God." The thought hit me as I am processing what I've just heard. She's gambling again. Right at this very moment. I know that I just have to trust, but.....

 

Thoughts. No fears. Fears swirl though my head. The gravity of what is happening. The possibilities. Everything we've learned about gambling addiction- Some we learned while she was in treatment, and some we learned by seeing. Not just seeing from her, but from her own mother also. My beloved grandmother who lost everything more than once. We've seen enough. Hasn't she seen enough too? What I know is that she will not stop until she has to. But people will still bail her out. Will she ever stop? Will I be one of the people put in a position to tell her no? What will happen when the reality of what she has done hits her? When she realizes what she has spent. What she has lost. Her addiction has evolved. When one or two hundred used to satisfy her, it takes so much more now. She has gambled everyday for the past two weeks. She loses six to eight hundred per day. Gone. Forever. Her hard earned money. She has already filed bankruptcy this year. Now she is spending the last of all that she has. Will she survive the realization when this hits her? This addiction has the highest suicide rtae. The thought sickens me. She mentioned suicide for the first time after getting out of treatment. Treatment. That was less than a year ago. An inpatient stay lasting over 30 days. She felt it was one of the hardest things she had ever been through. Hard or not, they taught her what is required. Meetings would be a part of her life forever. Counseling. The twelve steps. Her sponsor. Self care. They made it crystal clear that these tools will now need to be permanent fixtures in her life. Did she not believe them. Did she really think she could do it without the tools? Did she believe in miraculous healing? If she took the time she spends ruminating on all the things she is pissed off about- if she just used that time to the tasks she was assigned at treatment.  Would she be gambling right at this very moment? Help is available.

 

Trust in God. It's the only thing I can do. I can't control her addiction. I can't control how others will respond to her. I can't make them allow her to hit rock bottom. I can't control where her rock bottom is, although I pray it is not much further down than this. I also can't control her response. I just have to trust God. And one thing I've learned, trusting Him does not even mean that He will heal her of this addiction. It does not mean that she will not fall again. And unfortunately, it does even mean that some of my darker fears are guaranteed not to happen. What it means, is that I can rest in the knowledge that no matter what the outcome is, on ething remains. He is still God. He is still here. I am not alone in this. He is God when things are good, and He is still God when things are bad. Right now, trusting in Him is all that I can do. 

Here at home everyone knows that I play and other family members of mine also know, but I do not encourage any of them to play, nor my wife, I think playing is not for everyone, some know how to play, they are born players, professionals since they were born or it's in the blood, and in the talent of the player. Others play millions of times, they can have all the money in the world and they always lose. I have seen players with no money make a lot of money, and others with so much money lose everything. It's not just a matter of luck, it's a matter of knowing how to play, have strategies, know how to risk at the right time, we do not always get it right, but you can be sure that helps a lot.

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I've read your story, and it's sad. I hope your boyfriend can overcome his gambling addiction.
Potential problems that arise because gambling can be more than just a financial problem. If it is not treated immediately, this gambling addiction will cause the sufferer to have problems with the authorities, family problems and relationships, job loss and an increased risk of suicide.
Gambling addiction is very difficult to fight if you do it alone. Family and friends will be a good source of support for those who are struggling with this problem. You can also invite her to join a group or group of people who have the same problem, so she can share experiences and courage.

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You should need to take her vacation or going trip somewhere with no internet for 2 weeks to 4 weeks. I got that kind of situation before. That made social problems in real life. It’s become me not convenient with family and environment 

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thank you guys for giving some advice and tips in life really appreciated it, ill handle it for now. And God is only the answer to every problems we encounter never lose faith in God y'all. hopin everyone a lovely day good luck on your journey in primedice everyone wishin you all the best of luck :)

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be patient friend ...
everything happens at his will. nothing is impossible if Allah has wished ...
convince yourself, friend ... leave everything to God.
may all go according to what you expect, my friend ...

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