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Zephiera

Your sexual assault experience

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This topic is about sexual assault experience. Both men and women experience this. Tell us about your experience. 

- what happened?

- what did you do?

- what did you learn from it?

- did you experience it many times?

- did you let your loved ones know?how did they react?

So many questions because I've been a victim of it. I'll share an experience of mine. :(

I've experienced it many times before. I commute to work and in broad daylight! I always ride a public transport van and most of the passengers are office workers. Based on how they dress and the route goes to a busy city known for BPO offices. I always sleep during the ride because it is a 2 to 3 hrs ride from my place. One time I woke up and got paralyzed when I realized that the man beside me was fondling my chest using his elbow. I didn't know what to do. :/ I looked at him to make him realize that I am already awake >:(. I sit up straight and use my arms as shield. He kept on doing it. I looked at the passengers beside me but they are all sleeping. I was afraid to ask for help because he might say that I'm just overreacting. :(I maintained my position the whole time until it we got there to the city. He casually walked off like nothing happened. It was a relief because he did not follow me but I was so angry at myself because I was not able to fight back. I looked at my clothes. I am dressed for work! Nothing is bare. It did not happen just once and they are different guys. I don't sleep anymore when I commute except if both people on my sides are women. 

Every time I tell my experience to my friends or loved ones they always ask. What am I wearing that time. Like what the hell! I am dressed for work. Semi formal attire. But even if not, that should not be an excuse for those kind of men to do it! >:( 

The last experienced I had back in 2015 I was able to fight back. I was so happy and proud of myself. 

How bout you guys? kindly share yours so we can learn how to prevent or how to fight back in that kind of situation. :(

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@Zephiera, thank you for sharing this topic and not at all pleasant experience. This is not a thing many people are ready to talk about although it happens regularly, even on a daily basis, even in our proximity, although sometimes we tend to live in our bubble and not notice it. 
Luckily, I had no similar experience, although I have been using public transport even in the late night hours while I lived in my home town. It is inevitable to have people sit next to you and try to start a conversation even though you are coming back dead tired from work and don't feel like talking to anyone... I guess some men cannot comprehend how awkward it feels being a female in this situation and just trying to get off on your station without being stared at, let alone talked to, let alone this that had happened to you. Many times I just had to endure the smell of alcohol of an unknown person sitting next to me and to put my headphones on, just to keep them from talking... Holding your keys in between your fingers and hoping you won't have to use them to defend yourself from any possible assault. Walking alone at night and many similar situations :/ 


No, it has nothing to do with clothes, and no, don't let anyone tell you it was ever your fault... Take care of yourself and yes, you should be proud and walk with your head lift up high! 

Thank you for your inspirational topics and amazing Forum contribution! 

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On 10/23/2017 at 22:00, Bojana said:

No, it has nothing to do with clothes, and no, don't let anyone tell you it was ever your fault... Take care of yourself and yes, you should be proud and walk with your head lift up high! 

Thank you for your inspirational topics and amazing Forum contribution! 

You're welcome @Bojana:x It is so nice to hear comforting words from you. I've done that before when I notice that they want to start a small talk. I do my best to ignore them by wearing earphones too! :P But if I don't have one, I just look away or walk as fast as I can onto a crowded area or near an authority. And yes it is never our fault if some people cannot control their selves ¬¬. I'm tired of hearing victim blaming. 

Thanks again Bojana for recognizing my contributions in PD community! xD I am glad that you were inspired by some of my posts. :x

 

On 10/24/2017 at 00:01, Mistletoe said:

@Zephiera you shouldve told that dude "excuse me, your hand" with a n eyes that looks like about to murder.  Make sure to say it loud that everyone around will hear it and be aware of what's happening so he would be ashamed of his self. 

Some of my friends have told me to do this. I don't have a guts that time because I was so scared that time. :/But I'll be sure to do this the next time I encounter one. :) Hopefully I will not experience this anymore. Thanks for the advice.

 

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11 minutes ago, Zephiera said:

You're welcome @Bojana:x It is so nice to hear comforting words from you. I've done that before when I notice that they want to start a small talk. I do my best to ignore them by wearing earphones too! :P But if I don't have one, I just look away or walk as fast as I can onto a crowded area or near an authority. And yes it is never our fault if some people cannot control their selves ¬¬. I'm tired of hearing victim blaming. 

Thanks again Bojana for recognizing my contributions in PD community! xD I am glad that you were inspired by some of my posts. :x

 

Some of my friends have told me to do this. I don't have a guts that time because I was so scared that time. :/But I'll be sure to do this the next time I encounter one. :) Hopefully I will not experience this anymore. Thanks for the advice.

 

Break em family jewels! 

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This reminds me of the #MeToo campaign. A friend hosted a roundtable discussion on it on Rappler just a few hours ago. I tried typing up a post on it, but remembering all the times I got harassed got me upset and I couldn't continue.

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Allright.. I'm a man and I was sexual harassed too. The was a woman who always put her hand on my ass and sometimes at my ding dong... she accused me of being gay, because I didn't want that.. somewhen I had enough and told her to stop and I got really loud with it. Had no psychological effect to me.. it was just super annoying. I had no interest in this woman and this went on like months. But sometimes its just enough.

I think its still not the same experience woman make or how they feel about it after.. just wanted to show that men also can be a victim.

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On 12/8/2017 at 16:14, NyaoNyao said:

This reminds me of the #MeToo campaign. A friend hosted a roundtable discussion on it on Rappler just a few hours ago. I tried typing up a post on it, but remembering all the times I got harassed got me upset and I couldn't continue.

Sorry to hear that ? well I still feel the same everytime I remember those experiences too. You know what you should do, but you are just stunned and couldn't think properly during that situation. It's irritating coz' you were not able to fight for yourself.

On 12/8/2017 at 16:53, CaptainLorca said:

Allright.. I'm a man and I was sexual harassed too. The was a woman who always put her hand on my ass and sometimes at my ding dong... she accused me of being gay, because I didn't want that.. somewhen I had enough and told her to stop and I got really loud with it. Had no psychological effect to me.. it was just super annoying. I had no interest in this woman and this went on like months. But sometimes its just enough.

I think its still not the same experience woman make or how they feel about it after.. just wanted to show that men also can be a victim.

Wow didn't imagine that you were once a victim too Captain ? reading your story makes it clearer that anyone can be a victim of this. That woman doesn't have a right to touch you anywhere. She's making an excuse by challenging you to prove that you're a man. That's bull! ? Good to know that it had no psychological effect on you. ?

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Well... men are often victims. They just do not talk about it. They feel ashamed mostly. Or bros would say "men... she touched your dong and you complain? whats wrong with you?!".

Sexual harassment is also associated with women being victim. No matter which gender.. its just not okay. If you think a woman is pretty, tell her. don't do stupid stuff.

And the same way for women.. just bc they are women it is not ok to touch a mens junk or something. No means no and it must not be said before it happens.

@Zephiera no. not really, I'm okay with that. Told her what I think and that she can piss off finally. Sometimes its helpful to stand your ground. For women I can say.. get loud, furious.. grab attention from other people and the harassing person will let off.

Edited by CaptainLorca

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On 12/18/2017 at 02:22, CaptainLorca said:

Well... men are often victims. They just do not talk about it. They feel ashamed mostly. Or bros would say "men... she touched your dong and you complain? whats wrong with you?!".

Sexual harassment is also associated with women being victim. No matter which gender.. its just not okay. If you think a woman is pretty, tell her. don't do stupid stuff.

And the same way for women.. justbc they are women it is not ok to touch a mens junk or something. No means no and it must not be said before it happens.

This is unfortunately true. There is this notion that a guy should be thankful that a woman is "taking initiative" instead of calling it out for what it is: sexual harassment!

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53 minutes ago, NyaoNyao said:

This is unfortunately true. There is this notion that a guy should be thankful that a woman is "taking initiative" instead of calling it out for what it is: sexual harassment!

Well I said it to a girl one time and boi. The whole squad started flipping. Accusing me being sexist bc I accused her. That was crazy.. I really thought they will beat me up

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What really happened to me? There was a time was having accommodation issue,had no were to go to,so i went to visit a male friend of mine,we very closed n explained things to him if he can be of help. Luckily 4me he assist me. Ask me to move in with him for a while till I settled my accommodation probs. One particular day @night he just came over to were was sleeping n started touching my body, can't scream @d middle of d night. Was so mad @him started apologizing saying its d devil. In the morning he threw my belonging outside telling me to move out of the Ouse,I had to tell all our friends wat he has done,n the rest of out friends call him n told him y will he have to do that to his friend. So since then have not been so close to guys cos I believe they only after ur body nothing more. Not talking to all guys but those once m referring to know thereselves..

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1 minute ago, CaptainLorca said:

I really needed to swallow what you wrote. I'm very sorry that that happened to you!

I don't really what to say about it.. probably nothing.. but I can tell you that not all men are this way.. may not help you, but.. I just wanted to tell you this.

But y can't he just help me n not try n assault me sexually, but anyways its all gone n have 4given d guy but we just can't be friends anymore 

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27 minutes ago, CaptainLorca said:

well he might be the only one who can tell you why.. I don't have an answer for you, even if I wished i had. And when trust is gone, in the most cases, that trusts never regains...

No matter anything, can never be trust or believed in him again, when I told my loved once what happened, wanted to cause a big commotion but just told them have 4given him.

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